During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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