When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
