My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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