you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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