She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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