I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Randomize
