Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
