evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
