I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
