ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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