You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i think my cat just said my name.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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