I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize