Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
