Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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