I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
