drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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