You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
