none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I got inside last night via doggy door
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
