if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
