so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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