yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
