Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
