thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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