apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
