Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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