yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
