Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
