I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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