Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
