Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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