Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
