That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize