YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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