Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize