..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
