Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
