dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
