A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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