I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i believe in u and ur pee
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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