your thong is hanging out like whoa
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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