sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
