There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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