She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
