i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
