I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
