wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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