Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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