I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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