Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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