Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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