She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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