I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it was like eating out sand paper
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
