So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
