My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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