I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
