he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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