there's paper in my vomit.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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