she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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