You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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