so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
