I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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