Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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