so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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