youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
