she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
