Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
how drunk are you?
Several
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
