somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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