True but thats because hes a fetus.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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